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April 24th, 2013

Catching the Train

Once again I have put off my homework until the night before, so I'll be brief. (Wednesdays are tricky now with my school schedule. I should try to post in the morning, before procrastinating..)

This week in self-promo, we've talked about press, press releases, and convention table setup. Right now I'm working on a plan for my convention table--banners, hardware, things to sell, etc. And once I get it figured out, I'll have to send the banner to get printed and start doing this stuff for real.

Grad school has forced me to confront and work through a lot of things that have been holding me back. It's hard, and terrifying, but it's exactly why I decided I needed to be here. I've still been afraid of committing to all this. I'm setting up convention tables and writing pitches to publishers, and it's real. I'm really going through with it. I feel a little dizzy saying that. I haven't passed the point of no return yet, but it's coming fast, and then I'll be swinging for that moving train with my little butterfly net. (Have I told you that metaphor? That's what this feels like. It's about the fear of potential success, and feeling unable to keep pace with the future.)

After class yesterday, I asked my teacher a lot of questions about starting out in his career--when he started various projects/practices, pitching his book series, producing the entire first book during grad school, etc. It left me simultaneously daunted and determined. I realized that I've still been dragging my feet. The slowness of my pace is wasting time and precious opportunity. I know I still have a ways to go before I feel my work looks "professional," but I really do need to get on top of these dreams and get this party started.

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