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February 13th, 2013

Dead Horse

Been a rather rollercoaster week. I've been plagued with a lot of self-disappointment this week, followed by (and in spite of) some really cool stuff. Word count this week was only 380, leaving me with a total of 4,675.

When my grandpa died, I sort of lost momentum for a while (who wouldn't?), but since I got back, I've had a really hard time getting back on track with my work. It's not due to emotional issues, just plain inertia. School deadlines have been sort of lax these past couple of weeks and so luckily, my grades haven't suffered yet, but I'm starting to get dangerously behind and I'm really getting irritated with myself. WHY can I not get myself to WORK??

Part of it is having a really messy workspace, I'm sure. I still haven't cleaned up the chaos I left after last term, and I need to. I've been distracted with books and movies--activities which are generally encouraged for school/research purposes--but which I've let get out of control, since I can't multitask very well on anything requiring brain-work. Which is every project I have right now. So that has to be curtailed, also.

Next weekend we have guest speakers coming, including Marvel's talent scout (yes, seriously), and I've now got only a week to come up with something to show them. Odds are not good.

And yet, in the midst of this sloth and self-doubt, something pretty awesome happened. I contacted an LDS songwriter about turning one of his songs into a children's picture book, something I've wanted to do for several years but hadn't gotten around to proposing. He emailed me back with enthusiasm (pitch the book to him, and if we decide to move forward, we'll approach publishers about it). I talked to one of my teachers about what to do next, and when, and he suggested that the professional thing to do is to put together a book layout with rough sketches, plus at least one really tight (or finished) page, and send it to the songwriter in the next two weeks or so. So while this is an awesome and exciting opportunity, I really don't know why I picked NOW for it to happen. School has to come first. Obviously, there's not an actual deadline to this project, but I do want to be professional about it, and that means punctuality.

So I've got a lot on my plate just now. And despite my great plans to get on top of it, I spent all my free time today playing solitaire while finishing an audiobook, and then researching smartphone plans. Good job, B.

No class notes today; this week we mostly just rehashed what we've already talked about, and are getting ready to do something vague with it. I'll tell you about it next week if it proves useful.

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